Thursday, July 31, 2008

RIP Grandpa

On a completely different note here.... for those of you who have ever lost a close loved one, you can understand the following post more. When i first found out about my grandpa's death, it hadn't hit me truly for a couple days. I found out about it on a Monday night and spent some of that night and the following two days crying off and on. I luckily had the next day off of work and i tried to go in that Wednesday, but didn't last. Then that Thursday I was traveling and doing the viewing. I went right from the airport to the private viewing for the family. I was doing somewhat ok until i got to the private viewing and then I saw my relatives and the tearing started flowing once again. And you know what, I'm glad they did. It was tears of bitter sweetness. Sad that grandpa was gone but happy that he was in Heaven with Jesus. Sad that my family had to go through this (and for someone like me, I want to be able to fix everything). And sometimes the best way to fix this stuff is let the reality of it sink in. Ever have those times where you want to cry but you just can't? I don't know about you, but i get them a lot! it might be my ministerial calling that just having a heart like that. But i can remember monday night when i first heard about it, i couldn't really cry and i don't know why. But right before going to bed, i went and grabbed a hankerchief, when into my roommates room and put my head on one of their shoulders and let it the tears roll. And man did it feel good! (for those of you wanting to know how to console someone in this time, sometimes its just letting them wet your shoulder with their tears.)

But this evening in the mail, i got a letter from my grandma (which, by the way, she had already changed the return address sticker on it by taking my grandpa's name off... proud of you grandma for doing that..) and in it was a poem by someone. It reads as follows: :: clears throat ::

If You Could See Where I Have Gone

If you could see where I have gone, the beauty of this place
And how it feels to know you're home to see the Savior's face
To wake in peace and know no fear, just joy beyond compare
While still on earth you miss me, yet you wouldn't want me there
If you could see where I have gone

If you could see where I have gone and made the trip with me
You'd know I didn't go alone, the Savior came with me
When I awoke, He was by my side, and reached down His hand
Said, "Hurry, you're going home to a grand and glorious land
Don't worry over those you love to I'm not just with you
And don't you know with you at home, they'll long to be here too."

If you could see where I have gone, and see what I've been shown
You'd never know another fear or ever feel alone.
You'd marvel at the care of God, His hand on every life
And realize He really cares and bears with us in strife
And that he weeps when one is lost, His heart is filled with pain
But, oh the joy when one comes Home, a child at Home again

If you could see where I have gone, could stay awhile with me
could share the things that God has made to grace eternity
But, no, you couldn't ever leave once Heaven's joy you'd known.
You couldn't bear to walk earth's paths once Heaven was your home

If you could see where I have gone, you'd know we'll meet some day
And though I'm parted from you know, that I am just away.
So thank you wife, thank you children, for living for the Lord
For encouraging me to love Him, to trust Him and His word
And now that I'm Home with Him, secure in every way,
I'm waiting here at Heaven's door to greet you some sweet day.

Wow, that is one good poem. Everyone grieves differently. As I was back in PA for the funeral, i was talking with a old friend of mine who we used to terrorize the neighborhood there and he said that when they lost a relative of there's, it was actually a celebration of a life they'd lived. And he was completely right. It was a celebration of a life lived. It's just going through the grief of loosing someone, but knowing they're in a much better place.

The Lord holds the future in His hands, and its up to us to stay close to Him to rest in His love for us and to give that away to the world. My grandpa will be very missed. But i'm also happy for him that He is with Jesus.

This is a picture of me and my mom's parents, Grandma and Grandpa Yoder

And this is a picture of my dad's parents, Grandma and Grandpa Landis

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